Now tell me?

Where to start?

I think in my life (so far) there were two deaths that affected me like, badly. One: Ronaldo (our cat) death. Two: when Dad passed away.

As you know the sudden viral outbreak that spread like dust in the wind has killed 3 adult cats and 7 kittens so far. We are doing our best up until now to stop the spread and to make sure the sick cats get better day by day.

Only one kitten survived from the 5th generation. The only one left.

I nursed her. Fed her every couple of hours. Cleaned her and that's including tadah her kencing once when she accidentally pee and also wiped her shit yang sometime boleh keluar macam air bau susu basi. I also let her slept on me most of the time since I read somewhere they need the body warmth and affection to survive. Mom also take turn taking care of her when I was away to eat/solat etc.

I brought her to my room every night to sleep. I covered her box with another blanket. Prepared hot packs all the time. I slept with number 1 speed fan only. I woke up at 2am sometime 3 and also at 5am. I was (very) sleepy sometime I dozed off while nursing her. Once, I was caught sleeping bersila with her on my groin. Seriously I don't remember bila aku angkat dia but I did fell asleep and had a dream!

Hence I shed a couple of kg!

Sometime I couldn't be bother to eat as all my attention was for her. My stomach growled all the time even when she was sleeping on my tummy. I dare not to go out more than 2 hours as I was worried what would happened if she was awake and I was not around. I became very alert with sounds nowadays. Takut dengar Lucelle mengiau terbangun.

Last two days, I noticed something was wrong. You couldn't really tell what but I know she's going to leave us. On hari raya aidiladha eve, I didn't sleep! Because I was worried sick something bad would happen. I was so scared of losing her. And I cried all night and kept on praying she will be ok.

The next day, she was better. Alhamdullilah.

But who knows? Allah has a better plan for us.

I took her to my room as usual. Let her sleep on my chest and I was awake slightly before 5am because she was screaming. Oh my, gugur jantung sekejap. I looked at her, which terjatuh tepi masa aku terbangun terkejut and I knew instantly. I ran downstairs to Mom's room and she held her until she died. It was 6.30am.

I went to sleep after we buried her and arise masa azan Zuhur. I must be pretty exhausted for the past week. Huhu.

Despite all of this, I always look the silver lining behind everything. I know I know Allah has a better plan so I just gobbled down everything eventhough it was hard.

Even Mom told me that she felt something was missing after Maghrib today.

Yeah, Lucelle did had a big impact on us.

(with chronological order, some of her picture from my phone)

This was taken the night before she died. Aihhh.

Be strong Shaleen!


equules_lyra said…
em this touched my heart...
hope u'll be strong, such a cute
chezzem said…
Thanks dear :)
gwenena said…
Touching......sgt :(
*tibe2 i T_T depan pc ni huaaa*
i tau perasaan u cmne :(
be strong yer babe!

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