Hijab & me.

You know what? I am still adjusting myself with the hijab. It IS a big thing to me. I don't want to wear it just for the sake of covering up, I want to wear it like how I should be covered in the first place. I have piles of clothes that are either too tight, too short, or short sleeves. I am adjusting but that also means more shopping every month! *hints Obe*

Most of the days I just watch my tops, pants, cardigans, shawls and think where to start?

Like seriously, how to start meh?

I am the type of a girl who wears polo-T and jeans and sandals to mall. I am the type of a girl who ditch the make up and use Johnson's baby powder instead. I am the type of a girl who took only 5 minutes to prepare.

Now?

It took me 30 minutes just to stare, buttoned, unbottened, iron one scarves, then iron another one. *sigh* I am such a gullible! Everything I wear seems to be inappropriate to me.

No one asked me to wear hijab. Nobody! None.

I'd been thinking to wear one for years maybe but the feeling intensifies somewhere around last year. Then I thought, 'ah I am getting engaged anyway in February. That should wait'. But it didn't happened that way, Subhanallah!

Alhamdulillah Allah granted my prayers, to be a better muslimah.

I did discussed with three of my friends (see how secrecy I was?): Izi, Dama and Beha. Quoting from what my friends said that I still remember up until now (and hopefully I won't forget);

Izi: Kau tak rasa ke nanti bila kau dah kahwin, when you look back at all you wedding albums, kau rasa malu pasal tak pakai tudung?

Dama: Well dear, that is all Syaitans playing with your mind!

Beha: I was shocked bila dengar satu tafsir Al-Quran pasal lelaki yang sepatutnya masuk syurga tapi masuk neraka sebab ditarik oleh wanita (isteri/ibu/adik/kakak/anak). Shakak, memang susah kalau kita asyik fikir 'kalau/takut'.

You know what is my biggest fear? Not being able to dance anymore T_T But oh well, lets see now. I have not dancing for a year now maybe? So why should I wait kan? Then I do a lot of reading.... Like a lot! And prayers. And du'a. Please please please just have a faith and be strong.

I know I did so many sins back, but repent, promise and move on. Everyone has a story. I have mine too, but its just between you and Allah. Whatever you did, please, just repent and move on. Allah is the Most Merciful, InsyaAllah. He loves us and He will guides us, but only if we want Him to.

I know I am not a good Muslim, but you can never change in a blink. Its a process and you have to have a faith in yourself.

I am proud I took a big step in my life by donning the hijab. And I had never felt this calm before.

Back to the story, yes, nobody knows I wear the hijab except for the housemate aka the cousins: Tity and Sheena, early December. Then when I went back to Keningau to celebrate Xmas, more relatives knew and just made them promise not to tell my family and Obe and not to upload my pictures. And I did so well avoiding all the cameras everywhere!

Obe knew about it first, I told him on the phone somewhere in January. Thought I could surprised him during the engagement but so many things happened and I just couldn't hide it anymore. Then my sister smelt something fishy when I asked her to buy some scarves from Dubai.

When I landed in JB, Mom fetched me and from afar I could see her smile and she just said Alhamdulillah!

Alhamdulillah for all the guidance.

And when I don't know what to wear, I always wear my favourite outfit:

Paisley scarves, Bossino long sleeve shirt size L, Zara jeans in grey and my favourite Fitflop.

Oh now from XS I go to S. From S I go to M. But I still do prefer L. Very comfy and airy!

Had seafood for dinner today and found this creatures. I don't know what was it called but macam a gigantic semut!

Comments

Joanne Juend said…
Owh.the lobster made my sister cried out of pity. Haha
Anonymous said…
salam. rasa best pula baca your hijab story. and part your mum nampak you wore hijab for the first time, rasa bergenang air mata.

anyway, congrats on your engagement :)
Erin said…
Alhamdulillah. U look more and more gorgeous now shaleen.
chezzem said…
Kak joan: hehnlobster heh?mtp mcm geli na! Mcm semut hahaha.

Anon: thank you dear. I hope it inspires other people :) and thanks again!

Erin: thank you erin! Fuh fuh!
Sabrina said…
what anonymous said was indeed true. bergenang air mata juga.

anyway, dont worry shaleen, sekarang dah banyak trend utk muslimah. cume part nak iron tu yg malas kan? hehehe

nak senang, u can still wear your T, then cover up with cardigan. org akan tanya tak panas ke? bila dah lama2, sebenarnya takdelah panas sgt sampai ketiak berair. haha

p/s: am thinking of..perhaps if one day all of us ended up staying close to each other, maybe we can have a small usrah @ "cirles-of-happiness".. kat KL mcm banyak..but here in JB..i don't know..am still searching..dont have friends..and tak kenal siapa yg boleh ajar..
alhamdulillah..

setuju dgn anonymous..that part memang akak rase touching sgt n akak bole imagine the scene ;)

im very proud of u my dear for making this step..its not easy u know, for someone as gorgeous as u are..nak sorok all your beauties semata2 utk cari keredhaan Allah..for that i salute u ;)

tp pakai tudung ni seronok tau..everytime nak dress up, kita excited pk nak match dgn tudung ape..best! good luck babeh!
chezzem said…
sab: haha yup malas nak iron plus dah tak selesa nak pakai ketat2 hoho. pakai t and cardigan ok tapi mostly t aku pun ketat! kahkahkah. tu yang stress manjang.

haah aku pun mencarik kat sabah ni. kalau kesedaran dah ada tapi tak ditop-up, lame2 habes jugak. fuhhhh
chezzem said…
kak sofiah: huhuhu. tapi lepas tu kteorg dah gelak2 huha huha psl mummy pergi drive thru mcd sorang2 kahkah.

thank you kak sofiah! ala mane ade apenye. dah tak pening nak set rambut bagai hahaha. tapi collection tudung and baju still siket! stress stress! kihkih
beeRamza said…
:) <3 u!!

Popular Posts