... like what is written ...
3 months ago, I did apologized when I abandoned this blog for quite a while. Now after 3 months, here, am apologizing again for neglecting this space. But seriously when you started to read less, composing one sentence has become a dreadful journey -_-
Death has certainly constantly reminding us to always be a better Muslim. To be a better daughter. To be a better wife. To be a better friend. And to the fact that we received so many news on death made me questioned myself: Am I ready?
I failed giving my best on the last Ramadhan. I just couldn't believe I failed miserably performing terawikh every night. I don't even finished khatam my Quran even I just have few surahs left :( I couldn't perform night prayers and recite zikr as I usually would hit the sack close at 4am every night.
And all because of duniawi, Astaghfirullah.
And so I decided to stop baking for a while. Just a short break for me to breathe normally again. But I just couldn't say no when one ask me to bake one!
Rizk is all from Allah. God gave us all the rizk we need at the moment but a child. And so to test my patience, to test my faith. I had another laparascopic surgery last June, the same like what I had 5 years ago only this time it was bigger.
I was skeptical to share my 'trying to conceive' journey in the first place, as I was to scared to sink in all the emotions and whats not. But I need some hope to keep me going, even if its just for one day.
Just don't lose hope, InsyaAllah.
Talking about Ramadhan, Obe's grandmother from Abah's side passed away just before iftar on 1st Ramadhan. It was even more heart wrenching when Abah suddenly fainted at home on the 10th Ramadhan and was rushed to Hospital Kuala Terengganu immediately. He had hemorrhagic stroke, bleeding in basal ganglia and was in coma. The drainage surgery went well, but Abah was still in coma. And so we spend most of our days in Kuala Terengganu, in hospital, we even had our Syawal there. Then he started to get lung infection from the tracheotomy, and everything went bad.
Me and Obe spend another week there in KT (we rent a homestay usually), Obe taking shift taking care of his father when on saturday we decided its time for us to go back to JB when we were pretty sure Abah was getting better. Obe has been taking unpaid leave while I just informing my SV on my absence. On Sunday Obe's sister called him to inform Abah's condition was pretty pretty bad. We drive back to KT after Maghrib when his brother called him around 11pm to tell us Abah had just left us.
Innalillah wa innalillahirojiun..
Abah was brought back to JB after Subuh from Kerteh to be buried at Kebun Teh. We were all distraught at that time, but believe it happened for a reason and he is in a better place now.