10 things I wished people tell me during my confinement.
Well, obviously my confinement ended
ages months ago, but I thought I should share something here, as a reminder, for me or you.
I did not hire any confinement lady. My mom took care of me for a week, then she went back to Sabah as my grandmother was not well. So my mother in law took over, and also my other grandmother who stayed with us.
Having three ladies in a house when you just had a baby, your first baby, was........... daunting!
Confinement lady #1: My mom, was great! Being an ex-nurse, she doesn't believed in all confinement myth and voodoo. I can eat anything, I even had a sip of a iced cold sugar cane juice during the first week. Haha. Only that I wasn't allowed to switched on the fan, only air conditioner.
Confinement lady #2: My mother in law. She took over when mom went back to Dhaka on the 2nd week. She believed in all the confinement voodoo, but respect our decision to not following any of that. Obe was outspoken with his believe and tell his mom on what and not to do for me. She stayed until the 3rd week. She was great too! She always prepared my food and helped me with the baby. She cleanse the house, folded our clothes and whats not.
Then, she went back to Kerteh and I was left with my...
Confinement lady #3: The grandmother! Hahaha! Let me just tell you that living with an elderly during your confinement was very unpleasant. You cannot do this, you cannot do that. You should do this, you should do that. And the fact that she was old, I got a pang of guilt whenever she had to do the house chores. Not that much anyway, because I insisted on doing it myself. So I ended up cooking and washing and cleaning all by myself after the third week (my mother in law went back at 20th days anyway).
Despite all the research beforehand, preparing mentally for the motherhood, I ended up being miserable and so depressed that I cried almost everyday! He was not an easy baby back then. He doesn't sleep that much after a feed, he cried for more milk, he wanted to suck my nipple 24/7, he napped for 15minutes only, he cried whenever I leaved him for bathroom, prayers or to eat. He just like to cry T_T Such a screamer!
So as a reminder, here is 10 things I think people should tell me during my confinement;
- That motherhood doesn't comes easily post labour. Ahaha! That was scary. For two weeks, I just blankly stared at him, 'This is it? This?'. I had never envisioned myself as a mother, I couldn't hold a newborn, scared to death I might hurt the fragile baby. With Farish, I just need some time to digest everything.
- Breastfeeding is painful. Whoaaa, I don't want to even remember it. Let's just say, one milk blister and four plugged duct were more than enough to made me miserable.
- Babies are different. Like seriously, no babies are alike! You can applied one method to one baby, but it doesn't mean that can be apply to my baby as well.
- Pantang makan is for you to get back in shape not pantang as in you cannot eat that telur nanti luka gatal -_- . My bad, I was too paranoid I had no milk, and the myth of don't breastfeed with empty tummy nanti baby kena colic, I ate rice more than I usually do in a day. I even ate rice at 3am! Breastfeeding made me hungry all the time I just felt like a hungry gorilla! I ended up of losing only 4kg at the end of my confinement.
- Bengkung is a must! I did not wear it religiously back then. I had to wear it all by myself (so how tight can it be?), it was such a hassle for me, I peed a lot (every 30 minutes), then it got loose, and my hu ha sweat a lot and it got itchy.
- You can get water retention or gemuk air post labour. And that is how bengkung is crucial for you.
- Mengempeng. Some babies are really obsessed with your breast bahaha!
- You should get a final last fitting of your nursing bra in the last week of your pregnancy. I couldn't fit into most of my nursing bra. My boobs hurt and an ill fitting bra was the last thing I ever wanted T_T I went bra-less for the first few week.
- Start pumping earlier if you need to build milk stash in your freezer. I started pumping a week before I was scheduled to start working. Wasn't able to pump earlier as I had nipple trauma.
- It is ok to let go of your newborn baby to your mom, mother in law, siblings, grandmother etc. They are here to help you and you need that extra support system to be sane ;)