If you've been following me from the beginning, or maybe in the past few years, or maybe you are my follower in Instagram, you should have known that I bake for living. It all started 7 years ago when I baked for fun then orders kept coming in and the next thing I know, I started to bake to earn some money!
Of course things didn't go smoothly all the time. There were numerous hiccups along the way: cakes collapsed, underbaked cakes, Farish got sick, I got sick, forgotten order, wrong design/colour, I mean, I am still human right? I had to sacrifice a lot to. No more weekends, no more holiday with family, no more quality time with Farish. I lose my temper easily, the victims? Of course my husband and my son.
It broke my heart every time I see them. I am the wife, I am the mother, what have I done?
I was not happy. I was constantly complaining. I was tired. I was longing for more sleep. House was unkempt. I was stressed, all day.
It all went 'okay' before we had Farish. When Farish came in our lives, before I started working, I tried to baked during the day. Just so that I focus on the rest of the house chores at night, and sleep! Then when he became older, as months went by, it was not easy to handle him when I was away to bake. I suspected he was seeking for an attention. I mean, he was only 1yr++? Then I stopped baking during the day and baked at night. I sacrificed my sleep, but I was exhausted too from the house chores and all.
Then I started working full time, I had an early night and woke up around 3 or 4 am to bake. It went on for a month before I couldn't handle it anymore. Then I baked after Farish fall asleep, but I had to sleep late as well.
Why do I have to choose this way? No, this is not what it supposed to be. I can never reverse back moments of me and Farish, and my husband too.
Then, I stop baking. I tried for a week, and I was happy! Though my bank account doesn't agree with me, but Lillahi ta'ala. I know Allah Listens, Allah (ﷻ) is Al-Razzaaq: The Provider, The Providence, The Supplier, The Bestower of Sustenance. And I should not worry.